Let the Season Be

Life is composed of seasons. Lots of them. Some big and some small. In my limited number of years, I’ve noticed a pattern of sentences uttered from mostly well-intentioned people:

“Just wait until you go to college…”

“Just wait until you get your first job…”

“Just wait until you get married…”

“Just wait until you have your first child…”

“Just wait until he starts walking…”

“Just wait until you have more than one kid…”

Each of those sentences could be read in two ways: “Juuuuuuust wait, it’ll get tougher.” or “Just wait! It’s going to be awesome!’

It’s so easy to impose our own experience on other people. We have a hard time simply letting people be in their current season. Our perspectives allow us to know that the things that feel like a big deal in one season are actually really little comparatively, but that doesn’t mean they stop feeling like big things in the moment. We also have the insight that things will get even better.

All of those statements could be communicating a number of underlying messages: 

“If you think it’s bad now, just wait!” 

“You have maturing to do.” 

“I feel guilty that I did not enjoy the season as much as I could have.” 

“I’m so excited for you to experience what’s coming!” 

“Savor this. It’s the good times.” 

“Make sure you enjoy this because it’ll change soon, and I don’t want you to miss anything.”

Sometimes it seems like we feel the need to rush people through a season. Why is that do you think? What would happen if we spent more time remarking on the good times?

Sure, as adults, hearing the ongoing saga of high school relationships might seem somewhat ridiculous knowing that ultimately, very few of those relationships last beyond the season, but for those high schoolers? It’s a big deal right then. Or the brand-new mom who feels her sole existence is to produce milk. That’s kind of the reality in the moment, but watching her child grow just gets better and better.

Right now from me to you: 

To you high school girls, you do not have to have your life figured out. You get to be all excited about homecoming dresses and sleepovers and boys. Be silly and surround yourself with people who make you feel like you have full permission to be who you are. You’ll have so much more fun that way. Also, it’s OK to choose comfort over fashionable. Wear the warm winter coat rather than the cute but wildly unhelpful thin sweater. You’ll thank yourself later.

To you college girls, have so much fun. As much as you possibly can. Try those small things like the random intramural sport. You have access to so many unique people and opportunities. Grasp them! Study abroad. Give yourself time to choose your major. It’s OK if you need to sift through several before you’re certain. It’s worth figuring out who you are and what you’re about. 

To you single young women, enjoy your independence. You have a huge gift of being able to make decisions without factoring in another person consistently. Spend time with your girlfriends, organize girls’ weekends, embrace what being single allows you to do. Those things won’t go away with a relationship, but your time is not divided in this season. What a dream!

To you engaged women, you live in the tension of anticipating a promise but not yet living that commitment out fully. It’s OK to be totally excited about your wedding, and it’s also OK to grieve the change of no longer being single. Find a dress that you love and feel great in. Remember, the wedding is one day in a long line of many, many days of marriage. Treat it that way!

To you young married couples without kids, go on adventures just the two of you. Lots of them. You’re still a family right now before kids enter the picture. When those spontaneous ideas arise, jump on them! Make memories. Hang out with friends. 

How do we do a better job of being in a season with people? Is there anyone in your life who is a little further along that you could ask their advice on how best to savor your current season? Are there people a little younger than you who you could support right where they are? 

Let’s celebrate the seasons. Let’s give each other permission to not move too quickly through things, even if that means people have to learn their own lessons. 

Let’s let the seasons be what they are for the people who are in them. 

Simply put, let the season be.

If you’ve got advice for me, please share it in the comments! I’d love to hear wisdom from those who have marinated in life longer!