Dear 2019,

If we were the stars in a romantic comedy, our meet-cute would have been spot on. We met in Melbourne, Australia to the sight of fireworks from a hotel window. 

What a dream.

We spent the first few weeks together seeing Melbourne, Cairnes, and Sydney. We saw where the Australian Open is played, had Pimm’s lemonade, saw kangaroos, held a koala, obsessed over wombats (officially my new favorite animal), watched penguins come out of the ocean, saw the Brighton Bathing Boxes (Juliette, our tour guide, was hilarious), snorkeled at the Great Barrier Reef with turtles, tried vegemite to the delight of several locals, climbed the Sydney Bridge, and walked around the Sydney Opera House. We saw the beauty of Queenstown, New Zeeland, were awed by Milford Sound, bungee jumped with a spectacular view of Queenstown, and just generally basked in the raw natural wonder of the South Island.

I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Though we were there in honor and because of Aunt Karla’s passing, 2019, you were able to give January 6 a bit of a happier note by honoring Aunt Karla from the top of the Sydney Bridge. Thank you for that kindness.

Your spring was pleasant. You invited Ronny and I to start having discussions about our next phase of life such as moving out of an apartment and potentially becoming parents. It was mostly funny how frequently Ronny joked by saying, “We make baby?” on a daily basis. I wasn’t ready for that in the spring.

2019, one of our goals for you was to find a church home. We’d been in Gainesville long enough it was time to put some roots down in the community. You brought us Sola City Church. After attending a few services and going through the new member seminar, we felt strongly that this was where the Lord wanted us to be. Their heart for the nations was especially compelling. As a result, we also joined a small group which was wonderful to finally have some connections outside of the Adventures in Missions sphere.

One big event of yours happened in April. Together with a team of people, Ronny and I competed in our-first ever Spartan Race. I’m forever grateful it was a team effort because there’s no way I was getting over the 12-foot wall alone. To be honest, it was a fairly humbling experience for me. I was in one of the worst seasons for physical fitness so the act of going through the event felt incredibly vulnerable to me. I’m grateful the group was so encouraging.

Spring also included a short visit to Nashville to see most of my college friends. It had been quite a while since we were all in the same place so it was fun to catch up. My, how much life has been lived since we graduated in 2013! Ronny’s family visited in Easter and his sister and her boyfriend surprised him. How we managed to fit 7 people and 2 dogs in our 2 bedroom apartment, I’ll never know.

As often happens, 2019, you held a wave of weddings. We enjoyed celebrating Drew and Abigail (Ronny was a groomsman), Drew and Courtney, and Lauren and Shad. Lauren and Shad’s led to an F squad reunion which always warms my heart. 

One unexpected piece of you, 2019, was learning in May that my role with the Ambassador program would be ending at the end of the summer. In a matter of weeks, I had interviewed for a Girls’ Minister position at a local church and been offered a role on the Sales team at Adventures. Though the change was unexpected, uncertain, full of prayer and hard for a while, ultimately, the role change to Sales proved to be a good one for the season. The job required less relationally of me (surprisingly), and as a result, I had the energy and capacity to hang out with people more regularly. What a gift and the Lord was so clearly in the process!

May was a big month. It was the month I really started praying about the possibility of starting a family after hearing Ronny talk about it frequently. I was confronted with my fears of the process: What if we couldn’t get pregnant? What if I had a miscarriage? What if, what if, what if...It was a challenging but worthwhile confrontation. 2019, you helped me discover that it is one thing to say you want to have kids and an entirely different experience to actively be taking steps to make that happen. I’m glad I had the space to wrestle. 

In the midst of the wrestle, my dad, Holly, and brother visited, we celebrated Patrick’s birthday at a retreat center, complete with countless plants and lovely scented candles. Kallie came to visit in June. It was a time of being with people.

Father’s Day took on a new meaning this year too. Ronny and I went on a kayak date. That was one of my birthday wishes in the midst of a busy season. We borrowed our friends’ kayaks and set out on an adventure. Without planning it, we ended up having an intentional discussion about starting the process of having kids. The result? We walked away saying we were going to begin trying. It was time. We also chased a heron (my creature obsession at the time) around the lake, but the noteworthy part of the kayak date was the kid discussion. Crazy!

The rest of June consisted of two Ambassador training camps. There’s something to be said about experience with a job; it was my second year in the role, and I had a much better sense of what to expect. It was especially bittersweet knowing my role would change at the conclusion of the summer. Ronny and I led one of the high school teams to El Salvador for two weeks. Maddie, Ronny’s younger sister, and her friend, Cece, who we affectionately call Fefe, were on the trip too. In the midst of learning more about the impact of the gangs in San Salvador, working with kids, praying for skaters, and discipling the seven girls on the team, we had the privilege of baptizing Maddie in the ocean. A huge highlight for sure. To further fill my soul, there were plants, specifically succulents, EVERYWHERE.

July concluded with a visit from Ronny’s parents to pick Maddie up from the trip. August was rich. We had a reunion with the Jacobus side one weekend and the next with the Baxter side. So much family all at once! In the middle of that week, we decided to walk to get a pregnancy test at 10pm at night. I just had a feeling. Unfortunately, when we returned from our outing, I didn’t need to use the restroom yet and Ronny was exhausted. He went to bed without knowing which gave me the opportunity to sit with the answer for a few hours. I went to the bathroom and almost immediately the + sign appeared. I truly couldn’t believe it and texted Ronny to wake me up in the morning. For context, the space of time from our conversations to when I likely got pregnant was a little over a month. Apparently it was time for us to have a baby! I was thrilled that my last meal before knowing I was pregnant consisted of incredible sushi and a cocktail, guilt-free. 

The gift of being in Michigan is we were able to share the good news in person with most of my family. Telling future grandparents that the game was on, as well as the future uncle, were some of the coolest moments of the summer. I’ve rarely seen my brother speechless. 

2019, your September opened up another conversation that had been building. In-between OB appointments and seeing our baby for the first time in an ultrasound, we also increased our urgency around the discussion of moving from our apartment. We had discussed the possibility of purchasing a home prior to finding out I was pregnant, but anticipating a new life put new energy into it. In the end, we looked at 7 houses, the second was the one we chose. Interestingly, the same was true of my wedding dress. The process spanned two weeks and our realtor, Mitch, was kind in helping us as first-time homeowners. 

October led to visiting Shannon in Arkansas, closing on the house, a visit from my mom, and visiting Ronny’s family in Pennsylvania. We were busy!

On Halloween, we unexpectedly found out what we were going to be having. Our OB asked if we wanted to pay extra to have an ultrasound that day to find out (we weren’t due to learn for another few weeks). When we declined, she took it upon herself to get us an ultrasound because she wanted to know as well. It was so unexpected and fun to find out that way. I had been going back and forth on whether we wanted to do a gender reveal or the envelope or what. I’m grateful it happened the way it did! For the record, we both thought it was a boy going in, and we were right!

A little while later, after a week of painting (our color palette was appropriately named Global Spice), on November 9th, we moved, thanks to the help of an incredibly generous crew of pals. Seriously, we could not have done it without them, and it was not lost on us that we had crammed the equivalent of a three-bedroom house’s worth of furniture into our two-bedroom apartment. I was sad to say good-bye to the family of groundhogs who lived near our apartment and the dock access to the lake, but wildly excited to not be sharing walls with dogs anymore!

As if moving was not enough, we had also planned our babymoon over Thanksgiving. We wanted to have one last big trip together before the addition of our new babe. After much dreaming and discussion (Ronny remained incredibly patient with all my ideas), we ended up choosing Austria, specifically Vienna. We saw so many incredible things, including Halstatt, Salzburg, the Spanish Riding school, and Bratislava, Slovakia. We ate delicious food, walked a lot, and just enjoyed being in Europe. Our particular highlights were getting to see a double rainbow over the mountains and watching the Spanish Riding School performance. Just spectacular. We discovered the secret to our success for traveling was to stay in one place and do day trips. 

Without necessarily meaning to, we decided on our son’s name during that trip. William Charles Wilson, to be called Liam. So many family name connections, and we really loved the name Liam. Though we had decided, it would be several weeks before sharing. It was nice to have that secret treasured just between us for a while.

2019, your ending was full. We returned refreshed and thrilled from our babymoon to begin getting the house situated and have Carson, our roommate, living there with us. 

The holidays approached rapidly. We spent the first part in Michigan, which included a baby shower. That visit to Michigan also included what would be my last interaction with Nini. It was very special. My dad, Holly, Machew, Ronny, Pappy, Nini, and I all sat in a room to visit for a little while. Nini and I held hands and she was able to feel Liam kick. Though we hadn’t shared the name yet, Nini privilege meant she got to know. The visit ended with her praying for him. I couldn’t have asked for a better last in-person interaction, though of course, I wish she would have had the chance to meet Liam here on earth. More to come on the process of saying good-bye for 2020. 

Unknowingly saying good-bye to Nini wasn’t the only good-bye you brought, 2019. The beloved furry golden retriever creature known as Corey, but more commonly, Biddy, also finished her time on Earth. It was strange to not be around to say good-bye one last time, but I’m glad we got to Facetime her and watch her enjoy some well-earned ice cream in her final hours. 

It’s a privilege to love people and creatures, but it’s hard to say good-bye too. 

2019, you ended with a visit to Pennsylvania where we celebrated Baby Liam with a shower and also celebrated the engagement of Allie, Ronny’s sister, and her now fiance, Matt. After our whirlwind tour from Georgia to Michigan to Pennsylvania (all recorded through the eyes of Bob, the travel troll...see Instagram for an explanation), Ronny and I realized we got to see all 7 of our grandparents. Amazing. The final day of the year involved seeing a movie (during which Liam kicked the most aggressively he ever has in pregnancy (still to this day) to the point of making me jump in my chair (pretty cool that Ronny felt it as well!), and a delicious dinner with Ronny’s family. 

2019, you began and ended the same way: with the sound of fireworks. 

Your word for our year of marriage was GROW, and you represented that well. You gracefully concluded a decade full of so many things like college, the World Race, CGA, squad leading, getting engaged, getting married, becoming homeowners, and learning I was pregnant with our first child. What a year and what a decade!

In the end, 2019, you took us to Australia, New Zealand, El Salvador, Austria, and Slovakia. Thank you. 

You held some big decisions: committing to a church family, starting a family and buying a home. Woven throughout your days was the idea of growing and family. How appropriate. Each one was a new opportunity to seek the Lord’s guidance.

2019, I’d like to thank you. You were more balanced than 2018. We weren’t as reactive with our schedule. We had time to make big decisions that kept us busy, but the busy felt like it held more purpose. I said good-bye to you feeling filled up rather than depleted. You were no less significant, but you were kinder too. 

You left your mark on my life, and I’ll forever look back on you as a pivotal year in a good way, specifically for Team Wilson.

Love, 

Casey, Mom-to-Be, 36.5 Weeks Pregnant and Counting