It’s been just over two weeks of motherhood, of meeting our son, of breastfeeding, of healing, of transitioning, of embracing the new. It’s a transitional season. 

As is to be expected, old rhythms have been thrown out the window to be replaced with this new little life we created. Liam is precious. I cannot believe he’s ours. 

In the midst of getting him what he needs, it can be hard to remember my needs do not just suddenly disappear. I’m someone who needs time to get acclimated to a day when I first wake up. That time has been diminished to about three minutes of adjustment before it’s time to feed Liam again. Parenting is not something to be eased into. It goes from 0 to 100 in an instant. 

I’ve found my capacity for grace, both receiving and extending, has needed to increase. It took me until this morning to fully understand what that meant. The Lord needed to give me some new revelation to help things click into place. 

He said, “Come fill your new cup.”

Through my conversation and reflection with Him this morning, I needed to be reminded that my process is OK, that I cannot skip over it but rather need to go through it in order to come out stronger on the other side. 

He reminded me of these things: You have permission to be messy. You can be in love and sad, elated and exhausted, grateful and spent, high and low.  

Essentially, He was encouraging me that I can hold many different emotions all at once, and it doesn’t take away from the fact that I am beyond glad to have Liam, to be a co-parent with Ronny, and to now wear the hat of a mother. Like anything in life, I’m not failing or missing it if every single moment isn’t filled with joy. That doesn’t mean I should dwell deeply in what’s hard, but there is space to feel those things too.

Which brings us back to the cup.

I’ve been given a new one. The old cup I use to get filled with the necessary volume of new mercies every morning has been outgrown. With a new life and role and season comes a new cup, a bigger cup. I’ve been reminded of how deep my need is to receive new mercy each day and a large helping of grace, both for myself and to pour out. 

Of course the old cup wouldn’t be sufficient!

It was never made to hold this new season. No. That’s a job for something new.

The point was driven home when Ronny so kindly brought me coffee this morning. The mug he brought had the word “wifey” scrawled across its face. As I sat in the brief and delicious silence sipping the coffee, I remembered a gift I received from my oldest friend, Kallie. She had sent me a mug that arrived yesterday. This mug has a picture of a bear with the word “mama” on it. This new mug is also larger than the “wifey” mug.

It all started to make sense.

A new season, which requires more grace, would need a bigger cup. I’m transitioning from simply being wifey to being mama bear as well, though I’ll always be a wifey first.

I’ve gone through many cups in my life from tea parties as a toddler all the way to mama bear with each vessel meeting the need of the season. 

This is unchartered territory. Why did I expect my old tools to meet the needs of something I’ve never done before?

“Come fill your new cup.”

See I was feeling like I was missing something. Like I had maxed out the grace and mercy I could receive or like the Lord had run out. Of course He can’t run out of those things. I just needed Him to shift my perspective to remind me that while His source is neverending, my cup could do with an upgrade.

How fitting a new mug arrived in the mail the day before He explained this to me! 

For anyone going through a transition with new responsibilities or a new role or just a big change and feeling like you might not have the means to handle it, maybe you just need to ask the Lord for a new cup. 

I promise, His pottery shop is well-stocked. All you need to do is ask. Go get your new cup!

And to Liam, it is an honor to be your mama bear.