Here’s something I’ve been mulling over the past few days:

Is it possible to both trust and have control?

In other words, if you’re fully in control, are you really trusting? 

For me, in this season, and honestly all the time, the answer is no. To trust means to give up control.

It has felt like I’ve been in a season with one big wave of decisions and transitions after the other. I’ve found myself feeling incredibly exhausted, bracing for the next big thing and often anticipating something bad is what’s on the horizon, though the reality is many good things have and are coming. 

Between the waves, I’ve been trying to grasp for control in any way I can and finding myself coming up short. It’s as if I’m holding a massive fistful of helium balloons and just when I think I have a firm grasp, one starts to drift away. And it just keeps happening.

Control.

That’s what I want. I think it’s fair to say that everyone wants control of their life in some form or fashion, it might just look different between people.

It’s got me asking the question, “Why is it so important for me to stay in control?”

The answer lies in the bad connotation being out of control brings.

As I’ve slowly been coming to an acceptance of being out of control (because really, all of these big decisions and transitions can be summed up as life) it’s made me consider the positive side of being out of control.

Seasons changing - time passes regardless of my influence.  Wow I love fall!

People - they get to decide how they feel and what they’re going to do and what they think.

Pregnancy - growing a human life is entirely out of the woman’s control, and honestly, thank goodness because I might have forgotten to give Liam some essential things were it up to me to keep up with his development as he grew in my belly.

Baking bread - when yeast and living things are involved, there is a whole lot out of your control. (I’ve gotten into baking recently and didn’t even know it was a thing many people have done as a result of the pandemic. My inspiration is the Great British Baking Show.)

There are countless more. It’s been an encouraging thought journey to embrace. Being out of control does not have to be a bad thing. It opens the door for many, many good things.

So, trust. More specifically, trust in the Lord. I’m regularly handing the “control” I think I have back to Him who proves Himself to be trustworthy again and again and again.

Where in your life do you need to relinquish control and choose trust? 

If you need time to think, go bake some bread. I mean, why not? It’s a good way to put yourself in a place of trust. If you do, send me pictures because it’s fun!